Thursday, June 13, 2013

Sometimes it's hard...

Have you ever felt like you had no control over your emotions/reactions? Well, I felt that way today at work! I felt like I had no choice as to how I was reacting to this horrible prompt (standardized test question) that we're scoring right now. I was getting angry at the students and their ability to come up with methods we still hadn't seen that are bogus or confusing, and I was very impatient with my readers (scorers) who were asking questions, and angry at the way we have to score it because it contradicts itself, and it's a horrible and horribly written question! I felt behind in my duties as the person in charge, and it brought me very close to yelling/snapping, and/or crying! It was terrible!

When I had a moment, I had to walk away for a few minutes, which kept me from bursting. During my first break, I sought to be alone. And in desperation, I texted a very good old friend with whom I very sporadically correspond. He used to always be able to make me laugh instead of cry whenever i was frustrated. So I asked him to send me something funny if he had a minute. He sent me a sentimental text instead--which had the potential to send me into a fit of tears afterall, but it did make me feel better!

By the last half of the day I was in a much lighter mood, and able to laugh and be patient. Thank goodness God is so good! I know it was He who changed my heart and helped me to be able to look at it differently. I cognitively knew even in the morning that I can choose my own attitude. But man, it was tough! I'm not sure why it was so hard, but I will be praying again that tomorrow I will be able to be positive all day long! I know that with the help of the Lord I can be chipper and positive all day, and that can rub off on my readers, and we can make it through this item in better spirits. We have at least 3 more days--most likely 4 more days on it! Worst prompt ever!

But I am so grateful for the Lord's tender mercies that truly are over all of us!


Jill Hancock said...

glad you made it thru the rough patch! its hard to master the emotions life evokes from us. i certainly struggle with it and feel angry more often than i would like. keep on smiling, carol-a JOY!

Nobody in Particular said...

From my experience with confusing questions: Remember the parable of the unjust servant.