Have you ever felt like you had no control over your emotions/reactions? Well, I felt that way today at work! I felt like I had no choice as to how I was reacting to this horrible prompt (standardized test question) that we're scoring right now. I was getting angry at the students and their ability to come up with methods we still hadn't seen that are bogus or confusing, and I was very impatient with my readers (scorers) who were asking questions, and angry at the way we have to score it because it contradicts itself, and it's a horrible and horribly written question! I felt behind in my duties as the person in charge, and it brought me very close to yelling/snapping, and/or crying! It was terrible!
When I had a moment, I had to walk away for a few minutes, which kept me from bursting. During my first break, I sought to be alone. And in desperation, I texted a very good old friend with whom I very sporadically correspond. He used to always be able to make me laugh instead of cry whenever i was frustrated. So I asked him to send me something funny if he had a minute. He sent me a sentimental text instead--which had the potential to send me into a fit of tears afterall, but it did make me feel better!
By the last half of the day I was in a much lighter mood, and able to laugh and be patient. Thank goodness God is so good! I know it was He who changed my heart and helped me to be able to look at it differently. I cognitively knew even in the morning that I can choose my own attitude. But man, it was tough! I'm not sure why it was so hard, but I will be praying again that tomorrow I will be able to be positive all day long! I know that with the help of the Lord I can be chipper and positive all day, and that can rub off on my readers, and we can make it through this item in better spirits. We have at least 3 more days--most likely 4 more days on it! Worst prompt ever!
But I am so grateful for the Lord's tender mercies that truly are over all of us!
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